I was downstairs watching TV when my watch started buzzing. I looked down and saw that I was getting a phone call. My phone was upstairs charging, so I rushed up the stairs just in time to answer the phone. It was my sister. She told me that my father was in the ER and was having a heart attack. I packed an overnight bag, kissed my babies and my wife, and headed to the hospital some 45 minutes away. As I entered the room, I saw my dad writhing in pain and struggling to breathe. My mom sat beside him, and my sister stepped back to let me in. For the next several minutes, I watched as my father struggled to talk, breathe, and keep focus on anything. I could only think, “I love you, Dad! I hope you know how much I love you!”
They emergency transported my father to another hospital with a cardiac center some 20 minutes away. I wrapped my arm around my mom, and we walked to my car to meet my father at the next hospital. I did my best to reassure her that everything would be okay. My focus was now on making sure my mom felt comforted and supported. As we entered the elevators to go up to the floor my father was on, a code blue was called over the speakers for a patient in the same location my father was in. Worry flooded our thoughts as we weren’t sure if my father was in trouble.
Several minutes later, we were told that my father was in surgery getting a stent put in and should be out shortly. My mom, sister, brother-in-law, and I waited in the waiting room, hoping everything was okay. A few moments later, I saw my dad being wheeled around the corner. I got up and headed over to him. He looked like a brand-new man. He was smiling, alert, and talkative. My heart rejoiced, knowing that my father was going to be okay.
Even though this wasn’t the first time my father had been in the hospital, this was the first time it hit me as hard as it did. I started to think about my father, mother, and sister. Even though they live 45 minutes away, I don’t talk with them as often as I should. I don’t tell them I love them as often as I should. I don’t do a good job of letting them know that I love, care about, and cherish them. I consider myself lucky. I have been blessed to have another chance to fix my shortcomings and tell my family what I should have been telling them more consistently.
We tend to take life for granted. We get caught up in the busyness of life and neglect to invest in what matters – relationships, especially the relationships with those closest to us. Family is not something that is encouraged in today’s society. After high school, we are pushed to become productive members of society. This isn’t a bad thing. However, in the push to make a place for ourselves in this world, we need to remember and invest in the relationships that helped us get to where we are today.
I want to challenge you to reconsider what it means to love. I am telling you to say “I love you” more often. Please understand me: love is not just words. It is action. There is a song by Cody Johnson called”‘ Til You Can’t.” In the chorus, he says:
If you got a chance, take it, take it while you got a chance.
If you got a dream, chase it, ’cause a dream won’t chase you back.
If you’re gonna love somebody,
Hold ’em as long and as strong and as close as you can
‘Til you can’t.
In the bridge, he says:
So take that phone call from your momma and just talk away
‘Cause you’ll never know how bad you wanna ’til you can’t someday
Don’t wait on tomorrow ’cause tomorrow may not show
Say your sorries, your I-love-yous, ’cause man you never know
Don’t put off what should be done today. When our loved ones are gone, there are no more chances. Take every chance you can to say, “I love you.” Take every opportunity to spend time with those closest to you. Because once they’re gone, you will wish you did more when they were here.
After the incident with my father, I decided to act on how I felt. I started a group message between my father, mother, and sister. Every morning, I text a simple message that says, “Good morning! I love you!.” I know it’s not a lot, but at least I know that when they read their notifications on their phone, they will see a message from me telling them that I love them. I don’t need to hear anything back because I’m not seeking approval. I want them to know that in the busyness of life, no matter what, I am thinking about them and love them.
Life is a blip. One day, we are here, and then the next, we are gone. We are defined by what we do with the time we have. If there is one thing I am learning, it is to stop taking life for granted and start prioritizing my life with things that matter – family and friends. I want my wife, children, mom and dad, sister, and friends to know that I love them and that they matter to me. I don’t want to get caught up chasing the dollar or the next best thing at the cost of my relationship with my family and friends. The people in my life are what matters most. So, to all my family and friends:
I LOVE YOU!
Selfless Leadership Is Purposeful Leadership 