“No” Is Not Easy

We all dream. We all have goals. We all want something for ourselves. Many start with an attitude to pursue their dreams and work to achieve them, but the day that they fail to obtain their dream, or the day they get tired of hustling and pushing themselves, is the day they quit and figure it’s not for them. Maybe it was a job that they really wanted; a job they have been preparing themselves for; they put all the work into the application, their resume, their cover letter, and submit all the needed documents to HR only to get an email a few weeks later that says, “Sorry, but you were not selected as a potential candidate.” 

“NO” is not easy.

It’s at this point that a decision must be made. We can get frustrated, angry, depressed, and succumb to the darkness of disappointment and lose the passion and dream, or we see it as an opportunity to push forward and look for the next great opportunity. What separates these decisions is a strong, positive mindset and faith. “No” is not easy to hear. 

If we choose the first option, our passion and fire will slowly diminish. The more we sit and wallow in our perceived misery, the farther down the rabbit hole we go. This is where our mindset will either help us succeed or take us to a dark and hopeless place. “No” is not easy, but it doesn’t mean “Never”. We need to keep this in mind. “No” and “Never” are two very different words. A positive mindset will tell you, “This isn’t the end. On to the next possibility.” A positive mindset creates a sense of purpose and meaning. It sees a closed door and looks for the open window. It looks for a way out of the burning building instead of sitting and watching the flames grow larger. 

Faith is extremely important when hearing “No”. I do not believe in fate. Fate is an excuse to quit and give up. Fate is hopeless and meaningless. Fate destroys joy, passion, and anticipation. Fate is for the weak. I believe it is my responsibility to make plans, pursue my dreams and passions, and it is God who guides my steps; only if I let Him. Therein lies the key…willingness and obedience. I believe in a God who wants nothing but the best for me. I believe in a God who will never force himself or his plans on me, but will give me the freedom to trust and believe. Faith takes selfishness and turns it into humility. 

I have been rejected more times than I can count, and as I look back, I thank God that I was, or I wouldn’t have the blessings I do now. If I chose to live in despair due to rejection, I wouldn’t have my amazing wife, my beautiful children, my current job, my house…the list goes on. If I would have allowed my first, second, or hundredth rejection to define my plans, goals, passions, and dreams, I wouldn’t be where I am today. It is through my faith and trusting God that He has something better for me, which He has shown He does every time, and a positive mindset, that I see “No” as an opportunity for something better.

“No” is never easy, but with faith and a positive mindset, “No” is not final. I write all of this from personal experience. I write this having been told “No” just this week. I write this because it is a real struggle, and I want to encourage you to set your mind on things above. If you don’t have faith, I hope you find it. If you believe in fate, I hope you see the destruction that the belief in fate can cause. You are made for more than what you consider to be the top. A “No” is not fatal. Reflect, refocus, and readjust. Trust that “No” is a sign pointing you in a better direction. Keep moving forward in anticipation for the next great opportunity.

Takeaways:

  1. “No” is not fatal. Experiencing rejection is not the end of the world, nor is it the end of your dreams and goals. “No” might mean “Not yet” or “Not this one”. Keep your head up and look for the next opportunity.
  2. You have a choice to make when you hear “No”. You can either fall into the pit of despair, or rise up and keep moving forward with hope that a new opportunity is waiting for you.
  3. Mindset and faith have a lot to do with how you react to “No”. Disciplining your mind to see rejection as opportunity takes time, but it keeps you from falling into the “Woe is me” mindset. Faith is the foundation that keeps you standing. When we place our hopes and dreams in personal gain and selfish ambition, “No” is fatal. When we trust that our lives are in the hands of God who deeply loves and cares for us, a “No” is a sign post.
  4. Anticipate the next great opportunity. Opportunity is everywhere. As the great physicist, Albert Einstein, once said, ““In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” 

May your next “No” be a sign that leads you to your next great adventure.

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